First I should point out that Dawns are everywhere and so the concept of joining is simply that of deciding that you want to dedicate your efforts to align with the efforts of the rest of us.
Be a witch. In honor of our leader, Witch Amanda, this procedure
was unanimously adopted. If you are a witch you can instantly
become a member.
First identify the nearest Manifestation to your home and attend
5 of their regular meetings. Meet with every single member and get
their recommendations for your self-improvements. Accomplish all
of their assigned task and get them all to sign off on your
accomplishment. Then meet with the Medicine Mother and present to
her all of your reasons for wanting to join. Then write an essay
(at least 37 pages) which contains the following information:
Your reasons for wanting to join
The accomplishments you have already performed to ready yourself
Other religions you have been involved with in the past
Your reasons for finding these other religions to be inadequate
The religions which your friends are members of
Your estimation of your friends' reactions when they learn you want to be a pagan
A detailed account of all the work you have done to prepare yourself for joining Dawnism.
Submit your essay to the members, and then: Plant a garden and demonstrate that you can successfully grow:
Thyme
radishes
sweet corn
horseradish
lambs quarter
cabbage
blue cone flower
zuchinni squash
Meet again with the Medicine Mother and at least 5 members of
the Manifestation and present the results of your achievements to
date. Undergo tests and evaluations including:
criminal background check;
drug test;
winter driving skills test
cold-water lifesaving test
Turing Test
marksmanship (either firearm, bow and arrow, dart gun, or spear throwing)
physical fitness, pass one of the following:
run 10 miles in less than 2 hours;
or 200 pushups;
or 300 situps;
or 50 chinups;
or swim 2 miles;
or bench press 300 pounds;
or tackle and secure a hog weighing more than 200 pounds.
Upon completion of the preceding requirements, present yourself
to the assembled members at Long Dark Teatime of the Soul and you
will be instantly admitted.
Make a donation of at least $1 million to us.
Achieve one or more of the following scientific, medical, or service accomplishments:
perform open heart surgery
perform brain surgery
discover a new subatomic particle
reconcile quantum physics and relativity
find the Theory Of Everything
earn the Congressional Medal of Honor
beat the record for the longest sniper kill
develop a successful therapy for in-situ correction of the BRCA
gene
resurrect woolly mammoths
overthrow a communist dictatorship and establish a matriarchal
monarchy
Invent time travel.
On Bird Day, and when the earth is at perihelion, (19 of Frosty
ALABASTER) stand out in the middle of the woods naked for 234
minutes and yell really loud "I AM A DAWN"
Just decide you want to be one of us and start celebrating all
the Holidays and other special days. Start meeting with a local
Manifestation and undergo their prescribed rituals for admission.
If you have questions for us you can email the WAWO's account: wawo@dawnism.org
To prevent flooding zir inbox from bots there is a spam filter that will delete everything that doesn't have "Dawns Forever" in the subject line (leave off the quotes)
We don't currently have a WAWO right now but our WebWench will
review emails and reply if she sees fit.